The way my creative process for script writing usually goes is; either through commission or workshop (or both) the subject is set, then I write, then I cast, then I direct either professional or youth theatre actors and then I sit back and enjoy the results.
However this week saw the culmination of a very different process. On Tuesday I saw the talented CAT’s youth theatre (based in Southampton) perform “Whatever Happened to Grace Connor’” a play commissioned by them and written by me. I’d travelled down to Southampton earlier in the year to workshop ideas with them. Once back in Wakefield I set to work writing something that befitted their ambitions and talents. Once the play was sent they got to work in rehearsals and I pretty much moved on with the demands of two solo shows to write and a number of training commissions.
Going to see their performance was definitely a highlight of 2010. First there was the anticipation, wondering what a director had done with it; the lack of my usual control over interpreting my writing was both unnerving and exciting. Then there was sitting front of house and seeing the audience arrive to watch something I’d written. Finally there was the rediscovery of the play seen through and interpreted by theatre makers both directors and actors.
Of course there were things I’d seen differently and of course there were surprises but this wasn’t a bad thing. It’s a brilliant thing to see what your work says to people who can’t see inside your head. Listening to the laughter of the audience and the comments they made as they left, having no idea who I was, was of course gratifying. Possibly the most gratifying thing, however, was watching an ensemble of 16 actors who owe me nothing commit to a performance of my play, making every endeavour to perform it to the best of their considerable talent. I felt a genuine gratitude to them for creating something of such value out of my words…
And the final bonus of the evening, I got to chat to the cast at the end about the journey to performance and their positivity and enjoyment of realising “Whatever Happened to Grace Connor,” made the long trek northwards well worth it…an achievement in itself…
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
A vision of success...
The last week has been spent using drama techniques to try and teach ambition to year 9 high school students…funnily enough it’s really, really hard…
The students we’re working with have been identified as having potential but for a variety of reasons they aren’t fulfilling it. As usual the reasons for this are complex, often deep rooted and invariably intertwined: Lack of confidence, difficulties at home, a peer group that undermines their efforts to succeed, learnt behaviours or coping strategies that do not include conforming to others expectations, a resentment of education…the list is sadly endless.
However there is a universal theme that has emerged through the workshops we’re delivering and that is the student’s inability to visualize and/or articulate what success would look like for them. The question is met by the majority with general answers of “Money,” or “A good job,” or “A big car,” but very few of these potentially able young people know what kind of job or how they’re going to be able to earn the money or how they’re going to afford the car.
The consequence of this is that they are moving through life without a road map…with no destination they have no idea whether they are on the right track, no grid references to check their progress and in turn this makes things so much harder. Makes success, which is hard enough for young people with their life experience anyway, even more unreachable…
All this is indicates another potential way in which we can offer assistance as educators. In finding ways to help young people to see in clear terms what they want…in assisting them to draw their vision of success…in giving them the words or courage to articulate it to others, so it can be affirmed and developed in the telling and the hearing, we arm them with an invaluable tool to aid them in the process of actually reaching it…and that to me sounds like a worthwhile way of spending the day…
The students we’re working with have been identified as having potential but for a variety of reasons they aren’t fulfilling it. As usual the reasons for this are complex, often deep rooted and invariably intertwined: Lack of confidence, difficulties at home, a peer group that undermines their efforts to succeed, learnt behaviours or coping strategies that do not include conforming to others expectations, a resentment of education…the list is sadly endless.
However there is a universal theme that has emerged through the workshops we’re delivering and that is the student’s inability to visualize and/or articulate what success would look like for them. The question is met by the majority with general answers of “Money,” or “A good job,” or “A big car,” but very few of these potentially able young people know what kind of job or how they’re going to be able to earn the money or how they’re going to afford the car.
The consequence of this is that they are moving through life without a road map…with no destination they have no idea whether they are on the right track, no grid references to check their progress and in turn this makes things so much harder. Makes success, which is hard enough for young people with their life experience anyway, even more unreachable…
All this is indicates another potential way in which we can offer assistance as educators. In finding ways to help young people to see in clear terms what they want…in assisting them to draw their vision of success…in giving them the words or courage to articulate it to others, so it can be affirmed and developed in the telling and the hearing, we arm them with an invaluable tool to aid them in the process of actually reaching it…and that to me sounds like a worthwhile way of spending the day…
Tuesday, 27 April 2010
Unlooked for insights...
I was one of the many, many people who got caught off guard and out of the country by an unforeseen volcano incident…
It was an interesting experience. As someone who has built their life in such a way that they can be as autonomous as possible having to accept that for a short while my future was both uncertain and in someone else’s hands was a novelty to say the least. It required a new way of looking at things, an acceptance and although I wouldn’t want to do it on a regular basis it was undeniably a useful experience. Certainly it allowed me to shift my perspective on my world for a little while and in so doing gave me an objectivity impossible in more normal circumstances.
However the real eye opener was the discovery that I am in fact dispensable…this company that I have built up from the first day of its existence and that I devote most of my waking hours to managed perfectly well without me…sessions were delivered, work was generated, projects were maintained. I wasn’t needed. It’s quite the revelation. Undermining and liberating all at the same time. If not being in charge of my destiny shifted my perspective being dispensable blew it apart…
A number of emotions have gone with this…gratitude and admiration for the people that kept everything going, appreciation of the working culture we have established that formed such a solid foundation, an unavoidable element of vulnerability and a desire to build on what happened as I’m certain the insights we all got pave the way for a more far reaching, ambitious and successful company.
I like it when in the midst of confusion and challenge unlooked for insights are bestowed and as a consequence discoveries are made and progress is achieved. I also like the fact that I’m back and I can capitalise on everything that been accomplished in my absence and on the heightened awareness that absence and new perspectives can bring.
It was an interesting experience. As someone who has built their life in such a way that they can be as autonomous as possible having to accept that for a short while my future was both uncertain and in someone else’s hands was a novelty to say the least. It required a new way of looking at things, an acceptance and although I wouldn’t want to do it on a regular basis it was undeniably a useful experience. Certainly it allowed me to shift my perspective on my world for a little while and in so doing gave me an objectivity impossible in more normal circumstances.
However the real eye opener was the discovery that I am in fact dispensable…this company that I have built up from the first day of its existence and that I devote most of my waking hours to managed perfectly well without me…sessions were delivered, work was generated, projects were maintained. I wasn’t needed. It’s quite the revelation. Undermining and liberating all at the same time. If not being in charge of my destiny shifted my perspective being dispensable blew it apart…
A number of emotions have gone with this…gratitude and admiration for the people that kept everything going, appreciation of the working culture we have established that formed such a solid foundation, an unavoidable element of vulnerability and a desire to build on what happened as I’m certain the insights we all got pave the way for a more far reaching, ambitious and successful company.
I like it when in the midst of confusion and challenge unlooked for insights are bestowed and as a consequence discoveries are made and progress is achieved. I also like the fact that I’m back and I can capitalise on everything that been accomplished in my absence and on the heightened awareness that absence and new perspectives can bring.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Vanquished ghouls...
Today I have beaten a ghoul that has haunted me for a couple of months and as I sit and celebrate it with a cup of tea and some left over Easter chocolate I thought I’d blog about it...
It has occurred to me as a result of this destructive relationship I now realise I have unwittingly been part of that most of us live with a variety of ghouls that have a range of personas. From the obvious dark shadows such as our inadequate bank balances, concerns about people we are close to and the threats to our safety to the more insidious malevolent spirits that appear as feelings of self doubt and holistic dilemmas about our place in the universe. However as a general rule we manage them, control them, deal with them and somehow come to accept them as constant aspects in our lives. It seems we accept that somehow in amongst the positives and joys that also make up our existence these negative aspects make us a whole person…a balanced individual that has depth and understanding and empathy for our fellow men and women…certainly as artists and creative practitioners insight into all sort of lives both tragic and joyous give us a vital rounded view of the world we can then use as our inspiration…
All this aside there is something magic about laying one of the ghouls to rest, even if it’s just for a while…even if it’s not permanent…and now with the click of the email that signified that my doctorate proposal is completed and sent I have that lightness that comes with the absence of a ghoul and all the heaviness it brought with it…a weight I now realise I have been carrying around with me for quite some time…yes there maybe more work to do…yes some of the feedback I get on it maybe negative but for now…it is done.
The discovery I celebrate today is not a new one…still I feel strangely liberated in it’s rediscovery, is this: It really is worth facing the ghouls and sooner rather than later and the subsequent promise I make to myself is that I’m going to enjoy the lightness of this day, minus one of my usual dark presences before I let another ghoul creep in to take its place and also that I will endeavour to vanquish that one when it arrives as soon as I possibly can…
It has occurred to me as a result of this destructive relationship I now realise I have unwittingly been part of that most of us live with a variety of ghouls that have a range of personas. From the obvious dark shadows such as our inadequate bank balances, concerns about people we are close to and the threats to our safety to the more insidious malevolent spirits that appear as feelings of self doubt and holistic dilemmas about our place in the universe. However as a general rule we manage them, control them, deal with them and somehow come to accept them as constant aspects in our lives. It seems we accept that somehow in amongst the positives and joys that also make up our existence these negative aspects make us a whole person…a balanced individual that has depth and understanding and empathy for our fellow men and women…certainly as artists and creative practitioners insight into all sort of lives both tragic and joyous give us a vital rounded view of the world we can then use as our inspiration…
All this aside there is something magic about laying one of the ghouls to rest, even if it’s just for a while…even if it’s not permanent…and now with the click of the email that signified that my doctorate proposal is completed and sent I have that lightness that comes with the absence of a ghoul and all the heaviness it brought with it…a weight I now realise I have been carrying around with me for quite some time…yes there maybe more work to do…yes some of the feedback I get on it maybe negative but for now…it is done.
The discovery I celebrate today is not a new one…still I feel strangely liberated in it’s rediscovery, is this: It really is worth facing the ghouls and sooner rather than later and the subsequent promise I make to myself is that I’m going to enjoy the lightness of this day, minus one of my usual dark presences before I let another ghoul creep in to take its place and also that I will endeavour to vanquish that one when it arrives as soon as I possibly can…
Friday, 5 March 2010
Opening Doors
Last night I had one of those lovely sessions…one of those experiences that reminds you why you do the job that you do…
Every Thursday night I facilitate workshops with and direct The Black Company of Yew Tree Youth Theatre…a group of about 20 17 – 20 year olds. We’re starting to gear up for our Shakespeare festival, which will happen in June and before we get down to the rehearsal of what we will actually perform I wanted to play around with the language of Shakespeare. To that end I picked four sonnets to explore practically…the task instructions I gave were simple…in small groups pick your favourite, decide its meaning and present it back to the whole group fuelled with that intention…
Now here comes the gratifying bit…the task was undertaken and I watched as slowly at first and then with a gathering speed the sonnet they were working on drew them in. At the end of the session their work inspired such rich discussion using such delightful vocabulary…the group talked about exploration and understanding and the relevance of the themes to them and how the process had made them question both their understanding of themselves, the work and the wider world. Although it’s never just the words…listening to the commitment in their intonation and observing the fervor in their eyes served to underline what was being taken from their creative journey of the evening…
It’s worth remembering that all of the group have studied Shakespeare…most of them have performed his work to varying extents…what was particularly gratifying about this discussion was it was all about abandoning preconceived ideas and discovering the words and what they have to say anew.
There is something wonderful about spending an evening opening doors for people or at the very least pushing them a little wider so they have a better view…
Every Thursday night I facilitate workshops with and direct The Black Company of Yew Tree Youth Theatre…a group of about 20 17 – 20 year olds. We’re starting to gear up for our Shakespeare festival, which will happen in June and before we get down to the rehearsal of what we will actually perform I wanted to play around with the language of Shakespeare. To that end I picked four sonnets to explore practically…the task instructions I gave were simple…in small groups pick your favourite, decide its meaning and present it back to the whole group fuelled with that intention…
Now here comes the gratifying bit…the task was undertaken and I watched as slowly at first and then with a gathering speed the sonnet they were working on drew them in. At the end of the session their work inspired such rich discussion using such delightful vocabulary…the group talked about exploration and understanding and the relevance of the themes to them and how the process had made them question both their understanding of themselves, the work and the wider world. Although it’s never just the words…listening to the commitment in their intonation and observing the fervor in their eyes served to underline what was being taken from their creative journey of the evening…
It’s worth remembering that all of the group have studied Shakespeare…most of them have performed his work to varying extents…what was particularly gratifying about this discussion was it was all about abandoning preconceived ideas and discovering the words and what they have to say anew.
There is something wonderful about spending an evening opening doors for people or at the very least pushing them a little wider so they have a better view…
Sunday, 21 February 2010
Walking away: The Epilogue...
Gosh! It’s been a whole month since I last wrote...this is terribly neglectful so I apologise…sorry... The good news is that it isn’t because I have nothing to write about, in fact, the last four weeks have been packed with so many opportunities, developments and events. No, I think the reason I haven’t logged on to record my reflections for so long is because there has almost been too much going on to be able to reflect on any one thing in a meaningful way. This must change as experience has taught me a lack of reflection for a prolonged period of time normally results in temporary insanity…
There is a relevant point to note in amongst all of this activity (I refrained from typing chaos but only just) and to that end this post becomes almost an epilogue to the last one…
After I had posted “Walking Away,” I was genuinely touched by both the positive comments and RT’s and by the genuine concern of readers. In light of this I feel it’s only fair to let you all know that walking away was every bit as positive as I hoped it would be. Since we made that decision all sorts of opportunities have opened up for us and since we’re not mentally and emotionally exhausted as a result of having to deal with an organisation that has no consideration, respect or vision we’ve been able to make the most of them…
There are so many bright things on the horizon and all of them doing what I genuinely love: I’ve been commissioned to write two plays in the last month…I’ve had the chance to work with other practitioners who’ve inspired me and my work is definitely beginning to develop a national profile. We have funding to create our first 6 podcasts… The solo shows are well on the way and many schools in the area are already behind the project. You see…the whole thing makes me wonder why it took us so long in the first place…of course nothing is perfect…it would be good to not be quite so precariously poised financially…but never the less this feels much more like the life I intended to live and far from the trap we were being driven into…so yeah a month into the new chapter and all is well…I’ll keep you posted…
There is a relevant point to note in amongst all of this activity (I refrained from typing chaos but only just) and to that end this post becomes almost an epilogue to the last one…
After I had posted “Walking Away,” I was genuinely touched by both the positive comments and RT’s and by the genuine concern of readers. In light of this I feel it’s only fair to let you all know that walking away was every bit as positive as I hoped it would be. Since we made that decision all sorts of opportunities have opened up for us and since we’re not mentally and emotionally exhausted as a result of having to deal with an organisation that has no consideration, respect or vision we’ve been able to make the most of them…
There are so many bright things on the horizon and all of them doing what I genuinely love: I’ve been commissioned to write two plays in the last month…I’ve had the chance to work with other practitioners who’ve inspired me and my work is definitely beginning to develop a national profile. We have funding to create our first 6 podcasts… The solo shows are well on the way and many schools in the area are already behind the project. You see…the whole thing makes me wonder why it took us so long in the first place…of course nothing is perfect…it would be good to not be quite so precariously poised financially…but never the less this feels much more like the life I intended to live and far from the trap we were being driven into…so yeah a month into the new chapter and all is well…I’ll keep you posted…
Thursday, 21 January 2010
Walking Away
I was going to write this last week, in the moment so to speak, however it was in danger of being far too bleak a blog to inflict on the wider world. Instead I waited for things to shift and shuffle in my head, as I knew they eventually would, in order to balance the bleakness before I reported in.
Last week the relationship with someone Yew Tree had been working with for a significant length of time finally broke down and we were forced to walk away from the partnership. This induced a sickening feeling both on a personal level, as we had a great deal of shared history with this organisation and also on a financial one – in a climate like this walking away from business seems almost like professional suicide.
However despite all of this bleakness there was something infinitely empowering about saying enough is enough. We had got into a pattern within this relationship of consistent compromising, of being backed into corner, of operating in a perpetual circle of frustration and vulnerability. The feeling of release that followed our exit has turned out to feel much less like committing professional suicide than I feared; in fact it almost feels a little like redemption.
In the midst of such positivity I imagine you’re questioning whether the bleakness was worth mentioning. However it does play a significant role. It made its presence felt in the last bout of frustration that characterised the death throws of the partnership. The other party refused to see why we would feel the need to go, why we wouldn’t just do what they asked. Consequently our attempt at gracefully backing out whilst trying to maintain a modicum of good will amounted to nothing. As someone who strives to reduce ill will in the world this was a less than positive outcome and all the usual blame and self doubt temporarily kicked in. See bleakness in all its grey, sinister insidiousness.
The last piece of the jigsaw for this particular set of thoughts came last night at a forum of creative young people where I was chairing a discussion with a professional in the field many of them aspire to be successful in. It occurred to me that if you’re certain of what’s important to you, if you’re clear about what is valuable then you’re in a much better position to embark on the adventure, appreciate the moments and take the risks. Moreover you have solid foundations on which to make a stand if such a thing becomes necessary.
So…we move onto the next chapter…free of the fetters of someone who had ceased to understand and value what we do…and this feels good…
Last week the relationship with someone Yew Tree had been working with for a significant length of time finally broke down and we were forced to walk away from the partnership. This induced a sickening feeling both on a personal level, as we had a great deal of shared history with this organisation and also on a financial one – in a climate like this walking away from business seems almost like professional suicide.
However despite all of this bleakness there was something infinitely empowering about saying enough is enough. We had got into a pattern within this relationship of consistent compromising, of being backed into corner, of operating in a perpetual circle of frustration and vulnerability. The feeling of release that followed our exit has turned out to feel much less like committing professional suicide than I feared; in fact it almost feels a little like redemption.
In the midst of such positivity I imagine you’re questioning whether the bleakness was worth mentioning. However it does play a significant role. It made its presence felt in the last bout of frustration that characterised the death throws of the partnership. The other party refused to see why we would feel the need to go, why we wouldn’t just do what they asked. Consequently our attempt at gracefully backing out whilst trying to maintain a modicum of good will amounted to nothing. As someone who strives to reduce ill will in the world this was a less than positive outcome and all the usual blame and self doubt temporarily kicked in. See bleakness in all its grey, sinister insidiousness.
The last piece of the jigsaw for this particular set of thoughts came last night at a forum of creative young people where I was chairing a discussion with a professional in the field many of them aspire to be successful in. It occurred to me that if you’re certain of what’s important to you, if you’re clear about what is valuable then you’re in a much better position to embark on the adventure, appreciate the moments and take the risks. Moreover you have solid foundations on which to make a stand if such a thing becomes necessary.
So…we move onto the next chapter…free of the fetters of someone who had ceased to understand and value what we do…and this feels good…
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