To be of service...

This blog has been a long time coming…in that there’s been half an idea floating around in my head for almost a week. However this morning the last piece of inspiration I needed appeared, in a ridiculously busy supermarket of all places, allowing me to finally put metaphorical pen to paper.

The initial inspiration was the culmination of a project that had run throughout December. I had been working with a group of adults recovering from mental health issues to produce a Christmas celebration. It is rare that both the process and the product in an arts project are equally fulfilling but this was one of those projects. For the purposes of this reflection it is the product that is the focus and on this occasion the product was indeed a celebration. It took the form of performance…of the dramatic, musical and dancing persuasion and in addition it took the form of an entire community coming together. This was only made possible by the willingness of everyone to do things for others. They cooked for each other, they solved problems for each other and they supported each other in thought, word and deed. They were of service to each other and it was a wonderful thing to behold. The result was a room full of happy people who for the hours the celebration lasted forgot about hierarchy’s, status, history and protocol and simply enjoyed each other’s company. The magic of Christmas made manifest.

And the supermarket? A much more minor incident but still…I was waiting in the Christmas shopping madness when the woman in front of me at the checkout spoke to me. She was driven to conversing with a complete stranger through her frustration at forgetting something. When I found out what it was I offered to go and get it for her…she accepted and the problem was fixed. When it was my turn through the checkout the assistant asked if I knew that the woman I’d helped thought I worked there. The logic I suppose is obvious, why would I help her if I didn’t? Why would someone offer to do something just because they could? It’s a shame really but on a positive note it has motivated me even more to be of service whenever possible…the effort it takes is usually minimal and the results can be magic…

Rising to the challenge...

Izzy is sixteen, she had sex with her boyfriend Si after drinking too much vodka at a party and for a while she thought she might be pregnant. Neither Si or Izzy wanted to rush into having sex but because of pressure from their friends and a belief that everyone else was doing it they did. In the time between sleeping with Si who she had been going out with for several months and the negative pregnancy test Izzy’s life went into fast forward and she grew up immeasurably in a matter of weeks. Despite not being pregnant Izzy can not see how things can go back to the way they were, she feels differently about everything including Si. Their relationship is over, any future they might have had is now impossible and both of them have to reassess their present in light of the consequences of their decisions.

The above is a synopsis of the play, “Say the Words” that Yew Tree is currently touring to great acclaim in the Wakefield district. The three week tour is booked out and over the course of the tour we will perform at 14 schools (including community and hospital schools) in over 40 performances to over 1,400 young people. These numbers make us take it very seriously. From the story development to the writing and directing, to the rehearsals, performance and the workshops we take it very seriously. We take it seriously in terms of every individual who will see it, who we know nothing about and who may have very strong resonances with the subject matter. This is serious stuff we’re exploring, serious and sensitive stuff. Deal with it too lightly and we trivialise something important, deal with it using a heavy hand and we alienate our audience…people we could potentially help and support.

All this considered we could be weighed down so much by the fine nature of the balance between success and failure we could simply cease to function. Cancel everything for fear of getting it wrong, I see this happening so often. Surely however action is the key. Assess the challenges, get a clear picture of the needs, the issues the possible paths to success and the possible pitfalls and then do something, find a creative way to move forward. Already the response to, “Say the Words,” is so very positive and we’ve only just got going. It’s a clear accolade to the philosophy of using a creative approach to a difficult challenge.

We have to keep rising to these challenges in order to allow young people the opportunity to learn about the world they live in and the decisions they’re going to have to make. We have to do this through innovation, through creativity and yes sometimes by taking a risk. The response for our latest project has been positive from the schools but more importantly it’s been positive from the young people, the audience it was created for. Its success is measured by the fact that they are saying the words, talking about the issues, having a voice. However this project is a luxury and it’s a luxury there seems to be less and less of in the current financial and educational climate. Surely there should be more of it…in all aspects of learning…

Legacy

My wonderful Grandmother is losing bits of her memory at a rate that has left her a shell of the woman she was less than three years ago. First it was the little facts that disappeared, meaningless trivia that she would need reminding of more than an average amount, even for a woman in her eighties. Then she lost her memories of people she had met in the last decade or two, those who she had known well but not for long. Now in this final stage she has lost us, her immediate family, my daughter is mistaken for me, I am mistaken for my mother and that’s when she finds any resonance with us at all. It’s a sad end to a journey of almost a century.

This week I reconnected with two friends from my life as a student, they reminded me of things that, at the time I knew them, formed pillars of my life. Things that have also been lost to a varying extent in my journey but which have none the less formed and shaped the person I have become. The people and experiences, challenges and successes form a legacy that can be easily lost sight of. In reconnecting with these friends I was aware I also reconnected with a piece of me I hadn’t been aware of for a while, a lighter me, a less complex me, a me that actually could help out the me that is living 15 years on now and again.

All this adds up to the conclusion I made when I was reflecting on this week. Legacy is important and sometimes it’s useful, heartening, rewarding to remember what has made up the journey to the point you call now. Not in a desperate nostalgic way, mourning a past that cannot be regained, instead in an acknowledgement of the pieces that you are made up of. A conscious appreciation of the fragments that make up the whole, before you lose sight of them forever. This combined with a healthy appreciation of the moment you have at your disposal in the present is surely a better alternative, is surely a more rewarding state of mind than reaching for a future you have little control of and may or may not materialise.

Enjoying the view...

In my last blog I talked about people who seem to have made a decision to accept no responsibility whatsoever. As is so often the way of things this week I have been reminded of the inherent dangers when the opposite is the case.

There’s a thing that happens, often with wonderful people, when they get so caught up in their ambition to be as good as they can possibly be they get stalled by the fear of getting things wrong. On the surface this may feel like a fair price to pay until you weigh up precisely what they lose in the process. Instead of exploring they struggle, instead of playing they panic and instead of allowing mistakes to occur (because no one can get things right all the time) they try futilely to lock everything perfectly in place and then get frustrated when perfection doesn’t occur. Their effort and passion, professionalism and energy get deflated instead of being channelled into a rewarding process that will produce infinitely better results.

I think however the main thing they lose is enjoyment in the process, in the journey. In their effort to ensure the destination is the right one and that it comes as soon as possible they forego the opportunity to discover, reflect and enjoy the view as they go. That’s a shame because good things happen on a journey taken willingly, with enthusiasm, and with eyes wide open…things that can surprise and teach and delight us…so my campaign for the week is to enjoy the journey and try and support other people in doing the same…

Wishful Thinking...?

One of my interests at the moment is where the responsibility for learning lies…is it with the teacher, in whatever guise they might be taking – i.e. trainer, facilitator, workshop leader or is it with the learner…and if the responsibility is a shared one how can that be negotiated successfully?

Yesterday I asked someone a question at the end of a session of training, it was a simple question, “Can you tell me something you’re going to take away from this morning?” It’s a question I usually ask participants at the end of training in order to create an opportunity to consolidate, reflect and reaffirm the explorations and findings of our time together. When I asked this particular person that question, I was more than a little surprised at her reaction. She had such strong resentment at having to answer something she wasn’t sure about. Now I understand her defensiveness was almost certainly covering a host of insecurities but I couldn’t help thinking it was a shame.

The other thing I couldn’t help thinking was a shame was when the group were asked at the start of the training why they were there. A number of participants said, “Because we were told to?” Compare that with some of their colleague’s answers, one of whom said that they were there to, “Learn something new about themselves” and another that said they wanted, “A new look at things.” Now it doesn’t take a genius to see who is going to get the most out of the day…

So this is the thing…before any training is done with a group it occurs to me something much more holistic needs to take place that negates the fear, distrust and resentment that characterises too many people’s attitude to education. That heals the scars left by whatever harmful experiences have led people to a place where opportunities to develop are at best undervalued and at worst identified as something to attack… I also think that somehow the message has to get through that in order to develop ourselves and move forward we have to accept that some responsibility has to fall to us…no matter how good the teacher if we’re not prepared to listen no progress can be made…

I shall end these musings with a wish…I wish that everyone who is given the opportunity to learn, in whatever context, begins that experience with the thought, “What can I get out of today?” What an excellent atmosphere that would create in all the training rooms in all the land…wishful thinking? Possibly…but it is absolutely vital if individuals and organisations are to reach their potential…

"It's our job to entertain. Yours to draw conclusions"

On Wednesday night I went to see The Caucasian Chalk Circle at the West Yorkshire Playhouse. Sometimes when I go to the theatre I come out inspired, sometimes almost asleep and sometimes so frustrated at the quality that is passed off as professional theatre I end up venting my disappointment the entire journey home.

This performance was different; I was left with a sensation difficult to reduce into one word or one sentence, hence the compulsion to spend some time gathering my thoughts in this response.

The first thing that struck me about the production was how relevant the play was to the contemporary audience, despite it being written 65 years ago by a German playwright in exile in America. There was a sense of universality and truth about the play and this production of it that was routed in Brecht’s insightful understanding of humanity and the world we have created.

There were so many seemingly opposing ideas and concepts juxtaposed against each other, resulting in a retelling of the world that made a rare degree of sense. The sobering exposure of how one person will willingly degrade another was married with a story that is ultimately optimistic. The contrast of the poetic nature of reality was placed alongside examples of the petty base nature of humankind. There was violence and romance, betrayal and loyalty, utter greed and selfless sacrifice, justice and inequality and the tinderbox danger of corruption and power. In fact every emotion was contained in the three hours of theatre in a tapestry made richer by the heightened characters and the slightly fantastical nature of Epic theatre.

I was also struck at how the writer, director and company told the story of war on a micro level creating a much deeper understanding of its horrific price than the macro picture of body counts and resource inadequacies painted in our hourly news updates. News updates that we have almost come to accept as part of our daily life and as a result we often fail to register the significance of its content. In contrast I found the careless description of a rape by a morally corrupt soldier, as he chastises a subordinate for not relishing his part in it, abhorrent.

The list of things I took away from my evening at the theatre is substantial, hence my inability to condense. I’ll just mention a couple more of my thoughts before I close. Brecht expertly illustrated the relationship and contrast in between what is said, what is thought, what is felt and what is done. He showed us the necessity of making decisions and the implications of this, that reality often contradicts with our vision of what should be and the need to live with and by the decisions that are made. That the world isn’t perfect but that we have a responsibility to do what we can to make it better, rather than be dragged into the destruction.

I’m not the first practitioner to write about the didactic nature of Brecht’s work and I am nowhere near as knowledgeable as the majority but I felt it important to note that although time has passed, in showing us why things happen in addition to what happens, Brecht still has so much to teach us.

“Singer:
But you who’ve heard the tale
Of the chalk circle
Remember the wisdom of the ages:
That everything
Belongs by right to those who
Care for it:
Children to the motherly
So that the children thrive.
Horses to the good horsemen
So that the horses thrive
And the earth to good farmers
So that the earth may thrive.”

The Caucasian Chalk Circle - Bertolt Brecht

Its all just a little bit of history repeating...

None of what I’m about to write is new (there’s an irony to this opening that I hope will become clear.) All of what I’m about to write has happened before, been noted before, been documented before. Still, as I’ve witnessed it occurring on this specific occasion it has inspired me to want to note and document it all over again.

As followers of my artistic ventures may be aware, a new piece of theatre created with my youth theatre will be performed as part of the miner’s memorial service at Wakefield Cathedral this weekend. The piece was commissioned by the Yorkshire branch of the National Union of Mineworkers and they wanted to specifically focus on a local tragedy – The Lofthouse Colliery Disaster. Now, I was honoured to be asked to create this piece of theatre from the outset, but as my research and exploration of the story has progressed and my understanding of the situation has developed my sense of honour has grown immeasurably.

In addition to this revealing and fulfilling personal journey, a significant aspect of working with local history has come to my attention. As rehearsals have progressed and the young people performing have explored this historical event, they have begun talking about it. As they have started talking about it they have found points of connection with people where they least expected it. The Lofthouse Colliery Disaster occurred on the first day of spring in 1973, so it is relatively recent history, whilst talking to others about the project they’re involved in cast members have discovered neighbours who can remember the eternal and ultimately tragic wait to see if the lost miners had survived. They’ve realised that they have relatives who knew men who escaped from the torrents of water that flooded the mine and close family members who stood watching from their bathroom window as the floodlights from the rescue operation lit up the night.

These animated conversations have given the cast an insight into the things that older members of their city, their community, their family have seen. With that insight comes a curiosity and a point of contact, richer conversation and an opportunity for connection that wasn’t there before. It’s a wonderful thing to watch, as actors turn up to rehearsals full of the next discovery they’ve made, a discovery that then gets invested back into the production as a whole. It doesn’t stop there, the understanding and empathy this process of discovery encourages enriches their own performance…and their own self…

And just to think, a month ago they had no idea of what had happened on the 21st of March in 1973…

Responses to Responsibility

I’m tired of people not taking responsibility for their mistakes, their oversights, their forgetfulness, their wrongs... This fatigue announced itself to me the other day when I watched two cars nearly collide (as near misses go it wasn’t that dramatic, both had time to stop) and immediately a car horn sounded out aggressively. Now firstly, the fact that in a moment of threat and danger the first instinct of someone is to sound the horn rather than take evasive action or make sure everyone is alright is sad in itself. However even more significant is the fact that both of them were equally to blame or in fact not to blame. A mistake was made by both of them that resulted, thankfully, in no harm done. This didn’t stop the noisy accusation of fault coming through the airwaves loud and clear.

Obviously this is a trite example, but it illustrates my wider point. I find myself, some days, around people who are far too eager to blame anyone and everyone for their circumstances or actions. It has come to the point where it is a refreshing change to meet someone who is prepared to acknowledge their mistakes therefore give themselves the opportunity to move forward. There seems to be three general reactions to getting something wrong…the first is to play the victim, often exceptionally eloquently. Instead of an acknowledgement of what has happened, or what they’ve done they instead present a list of all the things that have gone wrong for them and therefore caused whatever is the centre of concern…often these issues have nothing to do with what is being discussed. The second is utter denial - despite all evidence to the contrary, the perpetrator of whatever it is denies having anything to do with it, and again this denial can be more than eloquent. Finally, and the one that really irritates me, there is the aggressive response. Here the person at fault ricochets away any responsibility with their shield of sometimes violent belligerence.

Now I’m not pretending that owning up is easy and all of these behaviours are more than understandable. Equally the tragic and relentless circumstances that some people find themselves in are more than reason to want to cast around for anyone to take some of the weight of their reality… My concern is this, with no acknowledgement of responsibility there is no power to change anything and then the same mistakes are repeated again and again…Where, as a practitioner, I see the most exciting developments is with those people who have a clear vision of self and actions and in addition the impact they and their behaviour have on the wider world. I’m happy, eager even, to take on the responsibility of facilitating an environment where that can happen…hoping that people are prepared to meet me half way…when that happens everything feels a little more right with the world…

Sources of Inspiration

Being inspired is magic, it’s what gets you through when things are difficult, it’s what sends a million thoughts colliding in your brain that will keep your creativity going for months to come, it’s an injection of energy and motivation right where you need it. This week has been a festival of inspiration for me from a myriad of sources so I thought I’d share some of them with you, it seemed selfish to keep them to myself.

The first was on Sunday, I went to watch my son Tom play cricket. I don’t often get the chance due to workload but on Sunday I did. One of the reasons I don’t make it a priority is often I find the world of sport difficult to palate. By that I mean the values and outlook of some of the central figures are in opposition to mine and when I see them being imposed on children I worry. However that outlook was shifted considerably as I watched Simon coach his team of under 9’s. A hugely tall figure, whenever he talked to his cricketers he came right down to their level, spoke to them in a firm reassuring voice and reminded them of the holistic link between mind and body. It was wonderful to watch this consistent reassuring presence and the impact of this on the young men that made up his talented and connected team.

Inspiration number two. On Monday evening I was invited to watch two musicians play at their most significant gig to date. Despite feeling vaguely out of place when I first arrived, as soon as they began to play I was so pleased to be there. The sight and sound of them playing their own music, singing their own words with artistry and conviction was a privilege to behold. In addition the awareness I had of the support emanating from their friends and family who were there to be part of this experience added an extra element of brilliance to the evening.

Then onto inspiration number three. Wednesday saw me making one of my rare but cherished trips to London. There I got to meet up with a friend who I have worked alongside too infrequently. He had generously invited me to his studio and I got the chance to watch him work with a group of professional actors from across Europe. By the time I left my head was buzzing with ideas, questions, thoughts, conclusions, things fell into place and got tipped upside down simultaneously. What’s great for me is that this intellectual and philosophical internal debate hasn’t finished yet and so the legacy of inspiration works its magic.

Inspiration four occurred on the same day. Whilst in London I got to see Arcadia by Tom Stoppard. The inspiration in this experience came from a range of sources…great performances, exquisite direction, perfect designs and intelligent writing full of immense ideas and thoughts. Again my now full brain was treated to another wealth of stimulus to store, play with and invest in my work.

Finally inspiration number five. Strolling through the rich, frustrating, addictive world of the internet I noticed a musician I admire greatly and am lucky enough to call my friend had posted a work in progress version of a song she had written and recorded. It’s breathtaking…as I listened to it I was both utterly absorbed in it and aware of potential projects firing off in my head, I wanted to realise it in physical theatre, write a play, a poem…in the end I just listened and enjoyed…the other things can wait…but the inspiration in listening, will enrich what I write, what I say and what I do from this point.

These events weren’t the only inspiration I had, I could tell you about my amazing 11 year old daughter’s dignified dealings with someone trying to bully her on the internet or my admiration of my husband as he supports and encourages our children or the workshop I had the pleasure of facilitating on Thursday, the list goes on and on. So this blog is essentially an acknowledgement of how lucky I am but also a promise that all of the inspiration I have witnessed and absorbed will be interweaved into my future and enrich both my work and the people I work with…

Resistance

This week I was doing part of an assessment day with a number of professionals. When I say professionals I need you to interpret this in such a way that you picture people at the top of their profession, who have studied and trained and grafted to be experts in a difficult and complex field. These people utterly inspire me with the sheer weight of what they know that I don’t. I can’t be any more specific than that because I have integrity and some of the people we work with don’t need it broadcast that we work with them.

To get back on topic, my part in the assessment day is to role play a challenging situation with these professionals to assess how well they cope with it. They’re given a scenario and essentially after some preparation they play it out with me acting opposite them. This is one of a number of tasks they have to do to see how well they’re suited to the organisation.

The first few hours had progressed smoothly until the final participant of the morning walked through the door. Within the first couple of minutes it was very clear that his intention was to catch me out by asking awkward questions as oppose to assuming the role dictated by the scenario. Despite the inner shock of his almost threatening behaviour I maintained role and he had no alternative but to go along with me, after a while I sensed him relax and contempt was replaced by mild interest and a hint of humour.

I’ve been reflecting on this since the assessment day and one of the main things it highlights is the way people can make their mind up about a task, a challenge or an educational opportunity without taking the time to discover what it offers them. The risk we take when we write such opportunity off can have a serious impact on our development and our prospects. Perhaps what students (using the term in its widest sense) should learn before they learn anything else is to be open to the opportunities afforded to them in any circumstance. To assume that there is always something to be gained from a learning experience – formal or informal. Apart from anything else it’s the only way that education/learning/professional development can be in the least bit enjoyable.

Far too frequently when teaching or facilitating, my first challenge is to counter resistance from groups or individuals before I have any hope of actually delivering the material I’ve been commissioned to deliver. This equates to so much energy taken up in convincing people that there might be something of value in what they’re about to take part in. For some of my participants this attitude is understandable, failed by mainstream education, damaged by life’s experience, struggling with difficult circumstances. However I naively hadn’t expected to meet it with someone so successful, someone who had engaged in so much learning. Unfortunately for them, in the same way as it does for the less fortunate learners of this world, this resistance had a negative impact on the way they were perceived, on their own sense of fulfilment and consequently on their future opportunities.

This makes my next challenge as a facilitator very obvious, to make dealing with resistance a priority. I need to encourage openness so that the most locked up individual can access the riches to be found in embracing learning opportunities. These are all things that I subconsciously aim to do but from now on they become a primary concern, regardless of the individual or group I’m working with.

A privileged position

Yesterday I was using some of the members of my youth theatre as a focus group. I’m training a group in a couple of weeks in “Directing Youth Theatre,” and wanted the youth theatre member’s opinions on what they would want me to teach adults who could potentially lead groups such as theirs.

As is so often the way their answers were entirely unexpected. I anticipated a list of games, techniques, exercises etc that they found useful as actors and instead their comments focused on the relationship, interactions and conversations they have with directors or teachers. What came across strongly was that they want to be treated with respect, with a sense of equality and as real people. I take it for granted that these qualities are at the heart of every relationship and therefore a prerequisite of a relationship between actor and director or student and teacher. This assumption was very much negated with young people stating that the way they are treated in my workshops is unique and being told to do things, receiving mixed messages and being made to feel reduced in some way is depressingly common.
I started to think about the reasons why this happened and decided perhaps it is down to a sense of being threatened by the inspirational young people that put themselves forward to be the next generation of artists and practitioners. Are teachers and directors of young people allowing their egos to be bruised through the fear of their actors and students becoming better than they themselves are? If this is the case, and I fear in too many cases it might be, then I find it incredibly sad.

I’ve just spent the last few weeks creating and rehearsing theatre with a group of 16 to 23 year olds. The process has been incredibly positive and valuable for everyone concerned and it has been so I believe due to the overarching sense of respect, responsibility and relish within the project. We’ve been blissfully happy making our discoveries, shaping the story, evolving the characters and the piece was very much enhanced and enlightened by each of the contributors. This is only possible by directing the process in a way that encourages input and proactively welcomes any and every ideas. Somebody needs to have an overview and weave the disparate strands of ideas together fuelling the process to meet the final vision. Somebody needs to be an outside eye and edit, discard and develop the raw material into a final performance but the last thing a creative process needs is a dictator.

My point is that the privileged position that practitioners working with young people have is too often abused. Whether this is a result of a fear of inadequacy or overdeveloped ego I’m not entirely sure but of this I am certain…whenever there is distortion of our role everyone loses out…

I’ve spent a significant amount of time in the primary schools of Wakefield this week and will spend the next three weeks in a similar vein. It’s an interesting and revealing insight into the formative education of the young people of our city and its surrounding area (for those of you unfamiliar with the geography of this area of West Yorkshire, the district of Wakefield covers a significant distance encompassing the “5 Towns” of Normanton, Pontefract, Featherstone, Castleford and Knottingley and a number of other towns deemed not worthy of being counted for some unknown reason.)

What becomes overwhelmingly clear, as I and my colleagues visit the schools with our range of drama workshops and educational experiences, is the absence of any kind of consistency. From the minute you enter the buildings you are hit with the personality of the school…from classroom to staffroom from the way you are greeted in reception to the displays on the walls. The overriding inconsistency glaring at me this week however was the attitude of the teachers to what we were doing. I delivered the same workshop four times this week; teachers responses varied greatly…from utter disinterest in my work and more importantly the work of their pupils, to delight at the teaching skills a head of year 6 professed to having learnt through observation of my workshop.

Although I am an ardent advocate of variation, idiosyncrasy, freedom and expression there are some things I feel should be universal in education and this week some of the schools I visited were found wanting…if the professionals in charge of our children’s education aren’t inspired and motivated, for whatever reason, to revel in continual self development how can we expect our children to make the most out of school and its opportunities. Equally if teachers are not committed in their quest to understand their pupils and thereby create the optimum learning experience for them, a vital aspect of the educative experience is lost. Reassuringly however there are great schools and great teachers that do embrace all that is good in learning …an attitude reflected directly in the disposition of their pupils. The next bit of the puzzle is to find an effective way of disseminating these vital attributes as widely as possible…