Legacy

My wonderful Grandmother is losing bits of her memory at a rate that has left her a shell of the woman she was less than three years ago. First it was the little facts that disappeared, meaningless trivia that she would need reminding of more than an average amount, even for a woman in her eighties. Then she lost her memories of people she had met in the last decade or two, those who she had known well but not for long. Now in this final stage she has lost us, her immediate family, my daughter is mistaken for me, I am mistaken for my mother and that’s when she finds any resonance with us at all. It’s a sad end to a journey of almost a century.

This week I reconnected with two friends from my life as a student, they reminded me of things that, at the time I knew them, formed pillars of my life. Things that have also been lost to a varying extent in my journey but which have none the less formed and shaped the person I have become. The people and experiences, challenges and successes form a legacy that can be easily lost sight of. In reconnecting with these friends I was aware I also reconnected with a piece of me I hadn’t been aware of for a while, a lighter me, a less complex me, a me that actually could help out the me that is living 15 years on now and again.

All this adds up to the conclusion I made when I was reflecting on this week. Legacy is important and sometimes it’s useful, heartening, rewarding to remember what has made up the journey to the point you call now. Not in a desperate nostalgic way, mourning a past that cannot be regained, instead in an acknowledgement of the pieces that you are made up of. A conscious appreciation of the fragments that make up the whole, before you lose sight of them forever. This combined with a healthy appreciation of the moment you have at your disposal in the present is surely a better alternative, is surely a more rewarding state of mind than reaching for a future you have little control of and may or may not materialise.

Enjoying the view...

In my last blog I talked about people who seem to have made a decision to accept no responsibility whatsoever. As is so often the way of things this week I have been reminded of the inherent dangers when the opposite is the case.

There’s a thing that happens, often with wonderful people, when they get so caught up in their ambition to be as good as they can possibly be they get stalled by the fear of getting things wrong. On the surface this may feel like a fair price to pay until you weigh up precisely what they lose in the process. Instead of exploring they struggle, instead of playing they panic and instead of allowing mistakes to occur (because no one can get things right all the time) they try futilely to lock everything perfectly in place and then get frustrated when perfection doesn’t occur. Their effort and passion, professionalism and energy get deflated instead of being channelled into a rewarding process that will produce infinitely better results.

I think however the main thing they lose is enjoyment in the process, in the journey. In their effort to ensure the destination is the right one and that it comes as soon as possible they forego the opportunity to discover, reflect and enjoy the view as they go. That’s a shame because good things happen on a journey taken willingly, with enthusiasm, and with eyes wide open…things that can surprise and teach and delight us…so my campaign for the week is to enjoy the journey and try and support other people in doing the same…