Sorrow and Pride

I’ve just got back from St Giles Church where eleven Yew Tree Youth Theatre members performed a piece of devised theatre, written and directed by Gemma, at the Miners Memorial service. They were the youngest and smallest cast to do this in the three years we’ve had the privilege to be part of it, but this didn’t stop them being an absolute credit to themselves and the youth theatre.

The remembrance of miners is of even greater significance this year as the industry has suffered 5 fatalities in this country in the last month…one of them in Yorkshire. As a consequence the bright and vivid colliery banners that are a familiar feature of the service were adorned in black in remembrance. Each year I am humbled by the fact that the material we create a play out of is a way of life for the people who attend the ceremony to pay their respect to loved ones they have lost. The sorrow and pride, often in equal amounts, is tangible in the atmosphere in the building and on the faces of all of those that gather together to remember, to find solace, to celebrate and to mourn.

Having Yew Tree as part of the service is a brilliant thing in a number of ways but one of the most important ones for me is that it ensures that there are young people engaged with the remembrance of miners and the mining community. In the creation of the piece and the attendance of the service youth theatre members are reminded of and learn about this vital aspect of their heritage and how key it is to the foundations of the community they live in now. Aside from Yew Tree there were only two other non-adults in attendance. I have a hope that in someway we are ensuring that the importance of this history is given a voice in the future and that those involved in the mining community see that the next generation genuinely care…

As the service ended and people made their way home we were asked if we would be happy to perform again next year (testament to the courage, talent and sensitivity of the cast, writer and director) and our answer was immediate and definitive as for as long as we are welcome we will readily be there…

The State of the Arts

This week has seen a landmark event in the world of arts with the announcement from Arts Council England of who and what they are going to fund from 2012 onwards.*



Since then I have had many heated debates with people about the nature of funding and the place it has in society…there is no doubt in my mind that the arts in all it’s guises not only enriches society but binds it together. It can repair communities damaged by conflict and deprivation, it can strengthen individuals holistically enabling them to play a positive role in their community. It does this only if it is rooted in true quality and integrity. The extent of good that can be done in the making, viewing, participation and reflecting of art is immeasurable figuratively and unfortunately often literally, and it is this difficulty in measuring the impact of art on individuals and communities that makes justifying what we do so very difficult. The bottom line is that the arts make any society and therefore this country a better place and like anything there is a price to pay for this. In cutting the funding for the arts the government are taking immense risks that will inevitably lead to huge gaping wounds in our precarious social cohesion, in the same way as cutting funding for education, youth services and health jeopardizes projects and services that play a critical role in everybody’s lives.



However I am not someone who thinks that funding should be automatic, that everyone is entitled to it and I am very proud to be artistic director of a youth theatre (and arts company) that has managed to maintain an enviable state of independence. This meant that on Wednesday I had no need to panic, that I didn’t need to worry that someone else was going to be able to decide whether we survived or not. Through a combination of your fees, the generous deal we get on some of our workshop venues, some funded projects and external commissions we have made Yew Tree Youth Theatre as independently stable as it can be. Yes, we are constantly looking out for ways of boosting our income and maintaining that stability but we have a 15 year track record of doing that. Equally important is that on the foundations of that financial independence we create art and arts experiences of true quality and integrity, whether that be our public performances or our rehearsals and workshops.



There’s a sense of pride and accomplishment as I reflect on all of this. I have no doubt that the next couple of years are going to be a real challenge, just as the last one has essentially, but I’m quietly optimistic that we can do it…and I’m certain I’m going to do everything within my power to keep doing what we do…so much depends on it.



*For anyone who hadn’t been aware of this…in response to the cut in funding from the government Arts Council England asked all arts organizations to apply/reapply for funding. Their decision for who should be/shouldn’t be funded and how much they got was announced on Wednesday. Some significant people have had their funding cut entirely, others have had it reduced drastically and a lucky few have been funded for the first time or have been given a raise.

Reflection

I was working in a school recently and as I was packing up after the workshop the head of drama there boldly proclaimed that students can’t reflect and furthermore that we shouldn’t even try to make them. I was almost out the door so I didn’t challenge her but as I drove home I genuinely wished I had.
Reflection is an integral part of all I do as a drama practitioner but perhaps it is best illustrated in my work as director of Yew Tree Youth Theatre. Every single session we do inevitably ends with a discussion about the workshop or rehearsal that has just taken place as a way of getting a clear picture of the progress made or the skills developed or even just the experience that the youth theatre members have had. Equally whenever we share what we have created in a workshop we discuss what we’ve seen, what we enjoyed about it, what impressed us and the possibilities of what could be done with it if we were to develop it. I am in no doubt that this process allows the young people involved to get so much more out of the session than if it was simply experiential. Through discussion not only are opinions developed about both the delivery and the content of what they are observing /experiencing but equally importantly the vocabulary to be able to express those opinions.
Don’t get me wrong there is an important balance to be struck, lots of sitting around talking about things and no action would constitute a deadly dull youth theatre session. For the reflection to be useful the subject of that reflection must be animated, inspiring and engaging. There is however something entirely inspiring about being part of an honest and critical debate about for example, the relationship between actor and audience, the nuances of a complex character or the way an actor held the attention of those watching.
The practice of reflection has, as is probably now apparent, become second nature to the members of Yew Tree Youth Theatre and not just because the opportunity is handed to them but because they actively seek it out. It’s a breath of fresh air from the tick box, guess what’s in teachers head evaluation that mainstream education seems to be riddled with. Youth Theatre members value it so much that they have taken it a step further. Every week one of them volunteers to post up a blog on our site reflecting their week at Yew Tree, this transference into written word develops their reflective skills yet another step. Even more advanced was a recent podcast project where youth theatre members tried exercising their powers of reflection on such diverse fields as economics, politics and education in addition to art.
Returning to my opening thought, I wish I had said to the teacher that to dismiss young people’s ability to reflect is to rob them of their chance to develop an ability to critically appraise their work and the work of others. Equally it robs them of the opportunity to develop their ability to critically appraise their world and the worlds of others. To develop sympathy and empathy, understanding and acceptance. It’s a vital skill not only for artists in the making but equally for adults in the making. The added bonus for people like me is that in listening to their reflections there are so many opportunities for self reflection and so often things I might not have noticed are highlighted with insight and eloquence.

Inspiration...

Being inspired is the most energizing, affirming thing and it’s happened twice this week in such ridiculously diverse ways.

The first serving of inspiration came from a trip to the theatre. I booked tickets last year to go and see Me and My Girl as my first theatre experience of 2011 for a number of reasons: I hoped for a perfect theatrical pick me up in early January, Miriam Margoyles was in it - who I have admired for a long time and I’d just read Stephen Fry’s latest biography and discovered that he was responsible for rewriting the book of the musical. Little did I know at the time of booking that I would come out of the theatre having seen it entirely re-energised and raving about the joyous spectacle I’d witnessed. The production was simply magical, a classic example of the magic created when every single person in the cast, company and crew apply their creative talents to excellent effect. There wasn’t one person on stage who wasn’t entirely in the moment, every moment of the performance. Every single element conspired to delight…from the casting to the set, from the choreography to the band. That’s before you even begin to consider the leads, who employed every aspect of their bodies, voices and imagination to delight the audiences as they told their characters stories through the play.

The second source of inspiration had infinitely more depth and was entirely more sobering. I read “Must You Go” Antonia Fraser’s account of Harold Pinter’s life. It’s worth saying that before I picked it up my admiration of Pinter knew no bounds. I am, in every way, humbly admiring of every aspect of his art – as a director, actor and possibly most of all as a writer. This inside account of his art, his life, his love and his death which included in poignant detail his suffering in the last years of his life left me both inspired and in tears. It was both intimate and matter of fact and only made me admire him more.

So at the end of a weekend full of inspiration I am ready to take on the world, even in this climate of cuts and crisis, even though the prognosis is bleak I’m going to hold on to the belief that with the right balance of optimism, play, intellectual rigour, grim determination, integrity and inspiration magic is made…this is to be my bedrock of faith and from this brilliant things will happen…

“If we’re really unlucky they’ll be on the train”

I’ve known about the Contemporary Music Festival in Huddersfield since I lived with Music students in my first year at Bretton Hall. However despite the fact the festival was always talked about in respectful and admiring tones by my contemporaries, I had never actually been until this Friday when I went to see the opening of 2011’s offerings. I have to admit I had an ulterior motive as in preparation for making a piece of theatre commissioned by The Hepworth Gallery, Wakefield I am taking members of my Youth Theatre to see lots of different performance genres. On the other hand I was glad of the excuse, finally getting to see something in person that you’ve been meaning to experience for a significant length of time is always satisfying.

The opening of the festival this year took the form of a music performance called “Ear Training,” a performance of contemporary music played by a mixture of orthodox and found instruments from trombones to basket balls. It was a promenade performance in front of and within the picturesque Huddersfield Train Station. Three main elements made up the event: the performers, the people at the station to see the performance and the unsuspecting general public who were simply there to begin, end or continue their journey by public transport.

During and after the performance I had lots and lots of questions I wanted to ask about the piece, but they were all the usual ones someone who makes performance would ask. What was the original inspiration? What was the balance of improvisation/composition/structure? How long had the artists been preparing? How much had they considered their set in their process? While I was asking these questions I realised that it would have been much better to be one of the people who were taken by surprise by the performance and experience it from their perspective. Equally they were in fact the most interesting element of the performance. Not all of them reacted favorably, some of them ignored what was happening altogether, others looked interested, others irritated. One woman said very audibly the title of this post as if she didn’t think the players could hear her, like they were on a different plane of reality almost.

We talk a lot about new audiences in this industry and it occurred to me this was a real and practical way to get a new audience to listen to something that they would not usually have considered. To bring it to them and to make it free, to challenge them but not to threaten, to play with socially accepted boundaries but not to rip them to shreds. There is a certain demographic that actively engage in contemporary music events and a large proportion of Fridays audience certainly didn’t fit neatly into this. As a performance I thought it was fascinating…not something I’d necessarily queue up to see and listen to again but thought provoking and therefore inspiring. Like many useful experiences I’m left with far more questions than answers.

In remembrance...

The 10th of October saw Yew Tree Youth Theatre perform an original piece of theatre at the Miners Memorial service at Selby Abbey. It was the fifth service of this kind and its purpose was to remember the men, women and children that have died whilst working in the mining industry.

It’s the second year we’ve been involved and this year, just as the last, I was overwhelmed by the enormous poignancy and depth that surrounds mining communities not only in Yorkshire but across the world.

The service was a diverse event with music from the Maltby Miners Welfare band, speeches from councillors and more importantly addresses from men who have devoted their life to this industry, which was and is absolutely a way of life not just a job. This year there was an added significance to the service with the plight of the 33 trapped miners in Chile remembered.

In amongst these elements was Yew Tree Youth Theatre’s performance within which a group of 16 young people unreservedly invested their talent, integrity and empathy to portray a way of living that has changed irrevocably within their lifetime. It was a wonderful thing to behold as despite the generational apartness everyone in the room was brought together by the sense of community and togetherness that is almost unique to mining.

The journey that the members of the Youth Theatre had undertaken to produce the piece of theatre we offered to miners and their families had been significant. In order to give their performance the honesty it demanded it had been vital that they learnt about a way of life so very different from their own and within that learning had come the realisation that the events at the centre of the piece of theatre…pit closures, the miners’ strike, the deaths of members within this community were far more recent that they might have imagined… that this had happened near them and in their lifetime…Hard lessons to learn but vital when confronted with the still raw grief of the families present at the service who attended to remember their own loved ones…

At the end of the service members of the youth theatre were approached by many of the people who had attended and from dignitary to those less lauded, but infinitely more learned about the community we had portrayed, their praise was both heartfelt and enthusiastic…all of them were both surprised and impressed by the work of the young people. I on the other hand was neither of these things as I take the fact that they are brilliant for granted sometimes but I was proud, proud of their ability to make the difficult journeys and overwhelmed by the enormity of the stakes and the depth of humanity that had underscored the entire event…

"Sometimes I don’t go to school; I go with Dad to the picket line and stand by the brazier for warmth. Mum says it’s no place for a child but I go anyway. I want to try and understand Dad’s world. The hours that he’s away from the house are just as long as before but now he doesn’t come back black with coal dust just weighed down with a battle that’s too big for him. So I go to understand, to stand with the other men whose families like ours are cold and hungry…to hold my Dad’s hand so he knows that if he thinks this is important enough to put up with living like this then I do too…"

What do you bring?

This is not a well thought out offering with a satisfactory conclusion…instead it’s something that I’ve been pondering since a youth theatre session I ran on Thursday…in fact I’ve been thinking about it for much longer than that but I refocused on it on Thursday. It’s centred on the question of what do people bring…and by people I mean everyone…what do people bring as individuals to a creative process?

There’s a whole thing that’s become embedded in my practice…about the youth theatre and drama workshops being a safe space…a space where other aspects of life, other concerns are left at the door. This isn’t original; it’s a mantra of lots of directors and practitioners. I usually give everyone a moment to focus on real life at the start of the session in order that it can be dropped for the rest of the workshop. In theory, as an ambition, that still stands and in part I still stand by it…but in reality, as is often the case, it’s much more complicated than this. The reasons for the complexity are plentiful and some more obvious than the others…but the one I want to focus on is the dichotomy between what we are being a richness we can bring to creativity and the fact that aspects of our selves are what hold us back from being brave, focused and open enough to truly engage with a creative process.

Our story, the one we have experienced up until this time, is one of the greatest strengths we have as an artist, the things we invent are unavoidably intertwined with it on some level…however equally, our stories are the ties that bind us to our fears and insecurities…that stop us being the person and creative practitioner we have the potential to be…One of the joys of working for a long time with people, which is a luxury of my youth theatre practice, is you witness them gradually unlocking parts of themselves to become a more open and developed individual and actor…or writer…or director. However I’m so very aware of the people that can’t let go of some of the things that hold them back…the ones that cling too tightly to the things that imprison them…those are the people I need to do better for…

As I said, no neat conclusion but some final thoughts at this point, in a career long journey I’m taking to understand all of this better…perhaps a better question would be what do we want to bring to our creative process and how do we best meet those ambitions? Which pieces of our story and ourselves are useful to us and which do we choose to cast aside? It’s a process requiring a significant weight of reflection, reflexivity and honesty…but worth having…

Generosity...

The last weekend of June saw the Yew Tree Youth Theatre host their second Shakespeare festival at the wonderful Clarke Hall a small stately home in Wakefield. With over 80 performers aged between 6 and 24, performing extracts from over 10 Shakespearean plays the preparation to ensure the events success was significant. In addition there was a high degree of gambling going on as we were utterly dependent on the weather…rain would have been disastrous.

In actuality we were compromised not by inclemency as there was glorious sunshine for the entire weekend but instead by the World Cup as the England Germany match meant we had to finish early…still everything else about the weekend was idyllic...

Now anyone who knows me will know that I am consistently proud of my youth theatre and the artists that work with them…we have built a community and culture based on the values of creativity, care and development and the results of being able to enjoy this culture for are significant. During the Shakespeare festival however this pride reached new peaks and this and all the other positive things I’ve said about the weekend can be attributed to the generosity that flowed in abundance throughout the whole event.

From the people who maintain Clarke Hall both paid and as volunteers allowing us free reign in their beautiful grounds and house, fitting us out with costumes and giving up their time…to the young people who in blistering heat and unfamiliar surroundings invested all of themselves in their performance. There was generosity everywhere in the parents that spent their weekend supporting their children…in the comments and compliments of the 200 strong audience, in the desire everyone had to help, to make things easier…nothing was too much trouble…for anyone…

And the result of this generosity…a complete revel in true Elizabethan style…artistically the gorgeous setting and costumes created an atmosphere conducive to delightful performances…but there was a deeper layer of reveling to be experienced. The weekend witnessed retired people reveling in their enjoyment of the work and world of young people, young people reveling in the experience of all things historical. Preconceptions were set aside and an openness took its place. All of the clichés about the universality of Shakespeare were proved to be true as his work provided a bridge between people of all ages, experience and walks of life.

Now here’s the final bit of magic because in those kind of interactions, the generous, reveling, open kind…there’s all kinds of learning to be done…learning that happens without people really being aware of it…whether it was about themselves, people they knew, strangers, Shakespeare or theatre, everyone went away having learnt something, everyone left just that little bit richer…

What a joyous way to spend a weekend…

"O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful! and yet again wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping!"

Superheroes...

I had the pleasure of spending a lot of last week with groups of year 6 children from Castleford. The project was called Superhero and it involved feeder schools visiting the theatre in their soon to be high school, watching a piece of bespoke theatre and then engaging in a workshop about the issues within the play. The aim of the event was to prepare them for and equip them with the skills and understanding needed to deal with changes in their lives.

Obviously their imminent graduation into high school was at the heart of the project but both myself as the creator of the play/workshop and Targeted Mental Health in Schools as the commissioner wanted a wider focus for the work. There are so many life changes to be dealt with, sometimes on a week-to-week basis and that’s hard enough as an adult but harder for children who have often little say or control regarding the change. When you then start to think about children who are already vulnerable, expecting them to deal effectively with change seems like an almost impossible ask. As a consequence “Superhero” touched on moving house, moving schools, bereavement and family arguments, I realise this sounds utterly depressing but it wasn’t…promise…

Anyway the main point of this blog is almost a side issue to all of this. What I set out to highlight is how eloquent and insightful children can be when given the right environment. In fact I really wanted to say how brilliant children are. Now this isn’t news, lots of people have said this, lots of times…because it’s true. What it isn’t, however, is accepted, no matter how many times right minded people give examples of this eloquence there still doesn’t seem to be enough general effort made to create an environment where that eloquence is given voice. Similarly children aren’t given enough credit for being eloquent or brilliant, too frequently they are underestimated and underrated.

I’m spending this week analyzing the data captured from the project. This includes comments the pupils made on the characters and their situations and things they professed to have learnt from the experience of seeing the play and taking part in the workshop. Despite the tedium of the actual job of typing up far too many post-it notes I’m finding it fascinating. From the boy who promised to help his Mum tidy his room so they would both feel better to the girl who stated she realised that calling people names lowered their confidence there are so many insightful comments. What’s more they are comments from individuals who are open to change, who are up for the challenge of developing themselves. Impressive in any circumstances but breathtakingly so when you take into account they are growing up in one of the most deprived areas of the country.

To conclude, I’m making a stand for the 11 year olds of the world and saying surely it’s our responsibility not just as teachers but as adults too, to create an environment where children can be impressive, eloquent and brilliant…and yes occasionally breathtaking…

Whatever Happened to Grace Connor

The way my creative process for script writing usually goes is; either through commission or workshop (or both) the subject is set, then I write, then I cast, then I direct either professional or youth theatre actors and then I sit back and enjoy the results.
However this week saw the culmination of a very different process. On Tuesday I saw the talented CAT’s youth theatre (based in Southampton) perform “Whatever Happened to Grace Connor’” a play commissioned by them and written by me. I’d travelled down to Southampton earlier in the year to workshop ideas with them. Once back in Wakefield I set to work writing something that befitted their ambitions and talents. Once the play was sent they got to work in rehearsals and I pretty much moved on with the demands of two solo shows to write and a number of training commissions.
Going to see their performance was definitely a highlight of 2010. First there was the anticipation, wondering what a director had done with it; the lack of my usual control over interpreting my writing was both unnerving and exciting. Then there was sitting front of house and seeing the audience arrive to watch something I’d written. Finally there was the rediscovery of the play seen through and interpreted by theatre makers both directors and actors.
Of course there were things I’d seen differently and of course there were surprises but this wasn’t a bad thing. It’s a brilliant thing to see what your work says to people who can’t see inside your head. Listening to the laughter of the audience and the comments they made as they left, having no idea who I was, was of course gratifying. Possibly the most gratifying thing, however, was watching an ensemble of 16 actors who owe me nothing commit to a performance of my play, making every endeavour to perform it to the best of their considerable talent. I felt a genuine gratitude to them for creating something of such value out of my words…
And the final bonus of the evening, I got to chat to the cast at the end about the journey to performance and their positivity and enjoyment of realising “Whatever Happened to Grace Connor,” made the long trek northwards well worth it…an achievement in itself…

A vision of success...

The last week has been spent using drama techniques to try and teach ambition to year 9 high school students…funnily enough it’s really, really hard…

The students we’re working with have been identified as having potential but for a variety of reasons they aren’t fulfilling it. As usual the reasons for this are complex, often deep rooted and invariably intertwined: Lack of confidence, difficulties at home, a peer group that undermines their efforts to succeed, learnt behaviours or coping strategies that do not include conforming to others expectations, a resentment of education…the list is sadly endless.

However there is a universal theme that has emerged through the workshops we’re delivering and that is the student’s inability to visualize and/or articulate what success would look like for them. The question is met by the majority with general answers of “Money,” or “A good job,” or “A big car,” but very few of these potentially able young people know what kind of job or how they’re going to be able to earn the money or how they’re going to afford the car.

The consequence of this is that they are moving through life without a road map…with no destination they have no idea whether they are on the right track, no grid references to check their progress and in turn this makes things so much harder. Makes success, which is hard enough for young people with their life experience anyway, even more unreachable…

All this is indicates another potential way in which we can offer assistance as educators. In finding ways to help young people to see in clear terms what they want…in assisting them to draw their vision of success…in giving them the words or courage to articulate it to others, so it can be affirmed and developed in the telling and the hearing, we arm them with an invaluable tool to aid them in the process of actually reaching it…and that to me sounds like a worthwhile way of spending the day…

Unlooked for insights...

I was one of the many, many people who got caught off guard and out of the country by an unforeseen volcano incident…

It was an interesting experience. As someone who has built their life in such a way that they can be as autonomous as possible having to accept that for a short while my future was both uncertain and in someone else’s hands was a novelty to say the least. It required a new way of looking at things, an acceptance and although I wouldn’t want to do it on a regular basis it was undeniably a useful experience. Certainly it allowed me to shift my perspective on my world for a little while and in so doing gave me an objectivity impossible in more normal circumstances.

However the real eye opener was the discovery that I am in fact dispensable…this company that I have built up from the first day of its existence and that I devote most of my waking hours to managed perfectly well without me…sessions were delivered, work was generated, projects were maintained. I wasn’t needed. It’s quite the revelation. Undermining and liberating all at the same time. If not being in charge of my destiny shifted my perspective being dispensable blew it apart…

A number of emotions have gone with this…gratitude and admiration for the people that kept everything going, appreciation of the working culture we have established that formed such a solid foundation, an unavoidable element of vulnerability and a desire to build on what happened as I’m certain the insights we all got pave the way for a more far reaching, ambitious and successful company.

I like it when in the midst of confusion and challenge unlooked for insights are bestowed and as a consequence discoveries are made and progress is achieved. I also like the fact that I’m back and I can capitalise on everything that been accomplished in my absence and on the heightened awareness that absence and new perspectives can bring.

Vanquished ghouls...

Today I have beaten a ghoul that has haunted me for a couple of months and as I sit and celebrate it with a cup of tea and some left over Easter chocolate I thought I’d blog about it...

It has occurred to me as a result of this destructive relationship I now realise I have unwittingly been part of that most of us live with a variety of ghouls that have a range of personas. From the obvious dark shadows such as our inadequate bank balances, concerns about people we are close to and the threats to our safety to the more insidious malevolent spirits that appear as feelings of self doubt and holistic dilemmas about our place in the universe. However as a general rule we manage them, control them, deal with them and somehow come to accept them as constant aspects in our lives. It seems we accept that somehow in amongst the positives and joys that also make up our existence these negative aspects make us a whole person…a balanced individual that has depth and understanding and empathy for our fellow men and women…certainly as artists and creative practitioners insight into all sort of lives both tragic and joyous give us a vital rounded view of the world we can then use as our inspiration…

All this aside there is something magic about laying one of the ghouls to rest, even if it’s just for a while…even if it’s not permanent…and now with the click of the email that signified that my doctorate proposal is completed and sent I have that lightness that comes with the absence of a ghoul and all the heaviness it brought with it…a weight I now realise I have been carrying around with me for quite some time…yes there maybe more work to do…yes some of the feedback I get on it maybe negative but for now…it is done.

The discovery I celebrate today is not a new one…still I feel strangely liberated in it’s rediscovery, is this: It really is worth facing the ghouls and sooner rather than later and the subsequent promise I make to myself is that I’m going to enjoy the lightness of this day, minus one of my usual dark presences before I let another ghoul creep in to take its place and also that I will endeavour to vanquish that one when it arrives as soon as I possibly can…

Opening Doors

Last night I had one of those lovely sessions…one of those experiences that reminds you why you do the job that you do…

Every Thursday night I facilitate workshops with and direct The Black Company of Yew Tree Youth Theatre…a group of about 20 17 – 20 year olds. We’re starting to gear up for our Shakespeare festival, which will happen in June and before we get down to the rehearsal of what we will actually perform I wanted to play around with the language of Shakespeare. To that end I picked four sonnets to explore practically…the task instructions I gave were simple…in small groups pick your favourite, decide its meaning and present it back to the whole group fuelled with that intention…

Now here comes the gratifying bit…the task was undertaken and I watched as slowly at first and then with a gathering speed the sonnet they were working on drew them in. At the end of the session their work inspired such rich discussion using such delightful vocabulary…the group talked about exploration and understanding and the relevance of the themes to them and how the process had made them question both their understanding of themselves, the work and the wider world. Although it’s never just the words…listening to the commitment in their intonation and observing the fervor in their eyes served to underline what was being taken from their creative journey of the evening…

It’s worth remembering that all of the group have studied Shakespeare…most of them have performed his work to varying extents…what was particularly gratifying about this discussion was it was all about abandoning preconceived ideas and discovering the words and what they have to say anew.

There is something wonderful about spending an evening opening doors for people or at the very least pushing them a little wider so they have a better view…

Walking away: The Epilogue...

Gosh! It’s been a whole month since I last wrote...this is terribly neglectful so I apologise…sorry... The good news is that it isn’t because I have nothing to write about, in fact, the last four weeks have been packed with so many opportunities, developments and events. No, I think the reason I haven’t logged on to record my reflections for so long is because there has almost been too much going on to be able to reflect on any one thing in a meaningful way. This must change as experience has taught me a lack of reflection for a prolonged period of time normally results in temporary insanity…

There is a relevant point to note in amongst all of this activity (I refrained from typing chaos but only just) and to that end this post becomes almost an epilogue to the last one…

After I had posted “Walking Away,” I was genuinely touched by both the positive comments and RT’s and by the genuine concern of readers. In light of this I feel it’s only fair to let you all know that walking away was every bit as positive as I hoped it would be. Since we made that decision all sorts of opportunities have opened up for us and since we’re not mentally and emotionally exhausted as a result of having to deal with an organisation that has no consideration, respect or vision we’ve been able to make the most of them…

There are so many bright things on the horizon and all of them doing what I genuinely love: I’ve been commissioned to write two plays in the last month…I’ve had the chance to work with other practitioners who’ve inspired me and my work is definitely beginning to develop a national profile. We have funding to create our first 6 podcasts… The solo shows are well on the way and many schools in the area are already behind the project. You see…the whole thing makes me wonder why it took us so long in the first place…of course nothing is perfect…it would be good to not be quite so precariously poised financially…but never the less this feels much more like the life I intended to live and far from the trap we were being driven into…so yeah a month into the new chapter and all is well…I’ll keep you posted…

Walking Away

I was going to write this last week, in the moment so to speak, however it was in danger of being far too bleak a blog to inflict on the wider world. Instead I waited for things to shift and shuffle in my head, as I knew they eventually would, in order to balance the bleakness before I reported in.

Last week the relationship with someone Yew Tree had been working with for a significant length of time finally broke down and we were forced to walk away from the partnership. This induced a sickening feeling both on a personal level, as we had a great deal of shared history with this organisation and also on a financial one – in a climate like this walking away from business seems almost like professional suicide.

However despite all of this bleakness there was something infinitely empowering about saying enough is enough. We had got into a pattern within this relationship of consistent compromising, of being backed into corner, of operating in a perpetual circle of frustration and vulnerability. The feeling of release that followed our exit has turned out to feel much less like committing professional suicide than I feared; in fact it almost feels a little like redemption.

In the midst of such positivity I imagine you’re questioning whether the bleakness was worth mentioning. However it does play a significant role. It made its presence felt in the last bout of frustration that characterised the death throws of the partnership. The other party refused to see why we would feel the need to go, why we wouldn’t just do what they asked. Consequently our attempt at gracefully backing out whilst trying to maintain a modicum of good will amounted to nothing. As someone who strives to reduce ill will in the world this was a less than positive outcome and all the usual blame and self doubt temporarily kicked in. See bleakness in all its grey, sinister insidiousness.

The last piece of the jigsaw for this particular set of thoughts came last night at a forum of creative young people where I was chairing a discussion with a professional in the field many of them aspire to be successful in. It occurred to me that if you’re certain of what’s important to you, if you’re clear about what is valuable then you’re in a much better position to embark on the adventure, appreciate the moments and take the risks. Moreover you have solid foundations on which to make a stand if such a thing becomes necessary.

So…we move onto the next chapter…free of the fetters of someone who had ceased to understand and value what we do…and this feels good…

Taking Myself Seriously

The New Year has dawned and with it the onslaught of a myriad of promises to the unseen judges about what we’re going to do better this year that we failed at last year. This new beginning is further accentuated as it heralds the start of a new decade as well as a new year. Somehow the promises seem to need greater gravitas, not least because when you think about where you were when the Millennium dawned it emphasises just how quickly time is careering ever onwards.

It took me a while, hence why I’m writing this on the third not the first of January, but I’ve finally thought of a meaningful resolution for 2010. By meaningful I mean something that I haven’t had before and actually feel inspired to do something about. There’s no massive reveal here as it’s in the title of the blog…this year I’m going to take myself more seriously…specifically as a writer.

This was the way my thought process went…

I was reading a blog by a playwright and falling into my usual wistful “Wouldn’t it be lovely to be a recognised writer of theatre…” At this point, if it had been a film, there would have been a jarring abrupt end to the wistful underscoring soundtrack as I realised that in effect I am just that. I’ve written countless plays that have been performed all over the region and received gratifyingly positive responses. I am, in fact, a playwright I just don’t think of myself as one…whenever I get a commission for a new play or an accolade for my writing I respond by feeling lucky. I don’t respond as a writer who expects such things to happen. In fact I’ve been known to visibly quake at the audacity of claiming such a title.

The reason why I feel I need to take myself seriously now is simply that I want to do more. I have things to say and I enjoy putting them in a form that communicates and engages with people. I know that my work has elicited a real response from people and even more importantly enabled people to question or shift their perceptions of their world. I can’t build on this with luck as my only foundation. As a director and trainer I talk so much about the way mind sets influence lives and yet here I am doing exactly what I tell others holds them back. Well no more…from today I accept the title and all it entitles me to and in doing this I look forward to a wealth of opportunities in 2010 to do exactly what I love to do…

To be of service...

This blog has been a long time coming…in that there’s been half an idea floating around in my head for almost a week. However this morning the last piece of inspiration I needed appeared, in a ridiculously busy supermarket of all places, allowing me to finally put metaphorical pen to paper.

The initial inspiration was the culmination of a project that had run throughout December. I had been working with a group of adults recovering from mental health issues to produce a Christmas celebration. It is rare that both the process and the product in an arts project are equally fulfilling but this was one of those projects. For the purposes of this reflection it is the product that is the focus and on this occasion the product was indeed a celebration. It took the form of performance…of the dramatic, musical and dancing persuasion and in addition it took the form of an entire community coming together. This was only made possible by the willingness of everyone to do things for others. They cooked for each other, they solved problems for each other and they supported each other in thought, word and deed. They were of service to each other and it was a wonderful thing to behold. The result was a room full of happy people who for the hours the celebration lasted forgot about hierarchy’s, status, history and protocol and simply enjoyed each other’s company. The magic of Christmas made manifest.

And the supermarket? A much more minor incident but still…I was waiting in the Christmas shopping madness when the woman in front of me at the checkout spoke to me. She was driven to conversing with a complete stranger through her frustration at forgetting something. When I found out what it was I offered to go and get it for her…she accepted and the problem was fixed. When it was my turn through the checkout the assistant asked if I knew that the woman I’d helped thought I worked there. The logic I suppose is obvious, why would I help her if I didn’t? Why would someone offer to do something just because they could? It’s a shame really but on a positive note it has motivated me even more to be of service whenever possible…the effort it takes is usually minimal and the results can be magic…

Rising to the challenge...

Izzy is sixteen, she had sex with her boyfriend Si after drinking too much vodka at a party and for a while she thought she might be pregnant. Neither Si or Izzy wanted to rush into having sex but because of pressure from their friends and a belief that everyone else was doing it they did. In the time between sleeping with Si who she had been going out with for several months and the negative pregnancy test Izzy’s life went into fast forward and she grew up immeasurably in a matter of weeks. Despite not being pregnant Izzy can not see how things can go back to the way they were, she feels differently about everything including Si. Their relationship is over, any future they might have had is now impossible and both of them have to reassess their present in light of the consequences of their decisions.

The above is a synopsis of the play, “Say the Words” that Yew Tree is currently touring to great acclaim in the Wakefield district. The three week tour is booked out and over the course of the tour we will perform at 14 schools (including community and hospital schools) in over 40 performances to over 1,400 young people. These numbers make us take it very seriously. From the story development to the writing and directing, to the rehearsals, performance and the workshops we take it very seriously. We take it seriously in terms of every individual who will see it, who we know nothing about and who may have very strong resonances with the subject matter. This is serious stuff we’re exploring, serious and sensitive stuff. Deal with it too lightly and we trivialise something important, deal with it using a heavy hand and we alienate our audience…people we could potentially help and support.

All this considered we could be weighed down so much by the fine nature of the balance between success and failure we could simply cease to function. Cancel everything for fear of getting it wrong, I see this happening so often. Surely however action is the key. Assess the challenges, get a clear picture of the needs, the issues the possible paths to success and the possible pitfalls and then do something, find a creative way to move forward. Already the response to, “Say the Words,” is so very positive and we’ve only just got going. It’s a clear accolade to the philosophy of using a creative approach to a difficult challenge.

We have to keep rising to these challenges in order to allow young people the opportunity to learn about the world they live in and the decisions they’re going to have to make. We have to do this through innovation, through creativity and yes sometimes by taking a risk. The response for our latest project has been positive from the schools but more importantly it’s been positive from the young people, the audience it was created for. Its success is measured by the fact that they are saying the words, talking about the issues, having a voice. However this project is a luxury and it’s a luxury there seems to be less and less of in the current financial and educational climate. Surely there should be more of it…in all aspects of learning…

Legacy

My wonderful Grandmother is losing bits of her memory at a rate that has left her a shell of the woman she was less than three years ago. First it was the little facts that disappeared, meaningless trivia that she would need reminding of more than an average amount, even for a woman in her eighties. Then she lost her memories of people she had met in the last decade or two, those who she had known well but not for long. Now in this final stage she has lost us, her immediate family, my daughter is mistaken for me, I am mistaken for my mother and that’s when she finds any resonance with us at all. It’s a sad end to a journey of almost a century.

This week I reconnected with two friends from my life as a student, they reminded me of things that, at the time I knew them, formed pillars of my life. Things that have also been lost to a varying extent in my journey but which have none the less formed and shaped the person I have become. The people and experiences, challenges and successes form a legacy that can be easily lost sight of. In reconnecting with these friends I was aware I also reconnected with a piece of me I hadn’t been aware of for a while, a lighter me, a less complex me, a me that actually could help out the me that is living 15 years on now and again.

All this adds up to the conclusion I made when I was reflecting on this week. Legacy is important and sometimes it’s useful, heartening, rewarding to remember what has made up the journey to the point you call now. Not in a desperate nostalgic way, mourning a past that cannot be regained, instead in an acknowledgement of the pieces that you are made up of. A conscious appreciation of the fragments that make up the whole, before you lose sight of them forever. This combined with a healthy appreciation of the moment you have at your disposal in the present is surely a better alternative, is surely a more rewarding state of mind than reaching for a future you have little control of and may or may not materialise.