Vanquished ghouls...

Today I have beaten a ghoul that has haunted me for a couple of months and as I sit and celebrate it with a cup of tea and some left over Easter chocolate I thought I’d blog about it...

It has occurred to me as a result of this destructive relationship I now realise I have unwittingly been part of that most of us live with a variety of ghouls that have a range of personas. From the obvious dark shadows such as our inadequate bank balances, concerns about people we are close to and the threats to our safety to the more insidious malevolent spirits that appear as feelings of self doubt and holistic dilemmas about our place in the universe. However as a general rule we manage them, control them, deal with them and somehow come to accept them as constant aspects in our lives. It seems we accept that somehow in amongst the positives and joys that also make up our existence these negative aspects make us a whole person…a balanced individual that has depth and understanding and empathy for our fellow men and women…certainly as artists and creative practitioners insight into all sort of lives both tragic and joyous give us a vital rounded view of the world we can then use as our inspiration…

All this aside there is something magic about laying one of the ghouls to rest, even if it’s just for a while…even if it’s not permanent…and now with the click of the email that signified that my doctorate proposal is completed and sent I have that lightness that comes with the absence of a ghoul and all the heaviness it brought with it…a weight I now realise I have been carrying around with me for quite some time…yes there maybe more work to do…yes some of the feedback I get on it maybe negative but for now…it is done.

The discovery I celebrate today is not a new one…still I feel strangely liberated in it’s rediscovery, is this: It really is worth facing the ghouls and sooner rather than later and the subsequent promise I make to myself is that I’m going to enjoy the lightness of this day, minus one of my usual dark presences before I let another ghoul creep in to take its place and also that I will endeavour to vanquish that one when it arrives as soon as I possibly can…